Writing – Higgetypiggetypong (scene from script)

Higgetypiggetypong – Script (scene 01)

 

FADE IN:

INT.BEDROOM – MORNING

Heavy curtains are drawn, and the sound of early morning traffic can be heard through the open window. Beer bottles and pizzas boxes are strewn on the floor. From a dark corner of the room a strange moaning sound can be heard from LOUIS as he begins to wake up.

LOUIS

(moaning)

Eurgh! my head.

LOUIS moves gets up to move from his resting place in the corner of the room but falls over as soon as he moves.

LOUIS

Eurgh! my back.

As LOUIS falls he moves into the light and it becomes apparent that he is a GIANT FROG. Lying on his back LOUIS opens his eyes.

LOUIS

(grunts)

As LOUIS looks down at his body he is surprised to realise he has turned into a giant frog.

LOUIS

Argh! What the? How the? I’m a f…I feel sick.

LOUIS passes out. Flashback sequence to the night before.

CUT TO:

INT.living room – evening

Loud music is coming from the stereo and LOUIS and his friend FRANK are drunk. they are singing/shouting and dancing about the room.

FRANK

Hey Lou, this music is cool! Were did you get it from?

LOUIS

The Internet! I downloaded it!

FRANK

Cool!….what’s downloaded it?

LOUIS

Er, it’s downloading stuff, off the internet…you know?

FRANK

Yeah course I know! The internets, downloaded it. Course I know!

LOUIS moves over to the stereo and turns the volume down.

LOUIS

You don’t know do you Frank?

FRANK

Not really no…it’s computers or something right?

LOUIS

Yeah Frank, it’s computers, come on mate I’ll show you the internet.

FRANK

Magic!

LOUIS and FRANK walk over to the computer and LOUIS switches it on. FRANK looks on in amazement.

FRANK

So the internets are in there then? That box thingy?

LOUIS

No, you connect to an ISP and…

FRANK has a very puzzled look on his face.

LOUIS

er yeah, the internets are in the box thing.

The computer screen comes on and as LOUIS starts to log onto the internet FRANK’S eyes light up. It’s obvious that he’s never even seen the internet or even used a computer.

FRANK

Wow. Google, what’s that then?

LOUIS

You type in what you are looking for and it finds it for you.

FRANK

Eh? it finds it? cool. Type sexy ladies.

LOUIS

Oh I don’t know Frank mate, probably not many sexy ladies on the internet.

FRANK

Isn’t there? Huh, well let’s look for something else.

LOUIS

(laughing)

Here you are mate, look.

LOUIS types ‘sexy ladies’ and clicks the mouse. FRANK looks at the computer screen and his eyes nearly pop out of his head.

FRANK

Oh my days! Give me a go!

LOUIS

OK mate, look just type what you want then press that big key there, ok?

FRANK

Cool, let me at it.

FRANK stands in front of computer with his hands waving round the keyboard, he has never typed before and he is quite drunk so it proves quite difficult for him to coordinate his hands as he begins to type and hits enter with a flourish.

LOUIS

What’s that? Higgetypiggetypong? What were you trying to type?

FRANK

Hot nipples. Shall I try again?

LOUIS

Hang on! There’s a website called Higgetypiggetypong.com. I got to see this!

CUT TO:

INT.BEDROOM – MORNING

LOUIS is lying on the floor, he opens his eyes and looks at his arms.

LOUIS

Oh my god, I’m a bloody frog. I’ve got to get help – and I’ve got to get to work. Frank!

At that moment a disheveled and hung over FRANK walks into the bedroom rubbing his head. He sees LOUIS and faints.

LOUIS

Oh great.

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